A Super Problem

Dear Baxter and Dandelion,
I've had a lot of fun reading your blog of late, and it has occurred to me that I now need some advice of my own.
You see, I note that where I live has a lot of crime and injustice tainting the neighbourhood, so I was thinking of taking up the mantle of an unofficial guardian of sorts, like a superhero.
I think I'd rather enjoy beating up criminals and standing on rooves with a swishy cape under cover of darkness; however, I'm not very tough, so the only real way I could realise my dream and clean up the streets would be to gain some sort of superpower.
Any ideas on how I could get one?
Love and Leefs
Gaz
x

Baxter says:
GAZ OH HAI HAI HAI can baxter bee yor sidekik plees ah wud like to fite crimes with yoo and ware a SWISHY cape and ah cud bee called SUPERTORT. bax is tuff i cud NOM them for yoo
lov SUPERBAX XXX

Dandelion says:
Dear Gaz,
How admirable that you want to defend your neighbourhood. I don't think superpowers come easily, but you could always get yourself a massive gun instead, and stick it down the back of your tights.
Love,
Dandelion