Anger issues

Baxter,
I hope you can help. I suffer anger issues, and sometimes relieve the tension and unwind by pushing Wrigley's Chewing Gum sticks into the inflamed anuses of sad Russian clowns. Recently i have found that this is no longer the quelling and calming activity it once was, and as such i need a new way to vent that rage. Can you help?

Yours hoepfully,

Taz xxx

Baxter says:
DEER TAZ baxter is rooshen not a clown but ah am rooshen tort pls do not hurt mah poo hole.
if yoo ar angree yoo shud do wot bax dus and tare up pikshurs of sherril cols husbend with mah claws SHE IS PRITTY AH HAYT HIM
lov the baxman xxx

Dandelion says:
Dear Taz,
Sorry to hear your trusted form of release is no longer working for you. Why not channel your energy into a sport, or music? Or if all else fails, drown it in gin and vermouth, like I do.
Best wishes,
Dandy