Torty grammar fail

Dear Baxter,
I was wondering if it might be appropriate to send you on a
punctuation course when I suddenly realised that your grammar and
punctuation are most likely impeccable, and that the problem is with the
way you have to stand on the keys to type! I imagine that this causes
your responses to be delayed, whilst you furiously walk back and forth
to the Backspace key. Have you ever tried training a voice recognition
program to recognise Tortese (or is it Tortish?)?
Your friend,
Mysterious Mr. M

Baxter says:
DEER MISTEERIUS MISTER M WOT IS GRAMMER IS IT THAT NICE SMILEE MAN ON TEEVEE CALLD FRAYZER AH LIKE HIM AN HIS FUNNEH FASE baxter dusnt understand
lov BAXMAN BAX xxx

Dandelion says:
Dear Mysterious Mr. M,
It's true, typing correctly when you're a tort is a tricky business. Unfortunately, we torts are silent apart from the occasional hiss and quacking noise, which are essentially meaningless, non-linguistic sounds.
Therefore sadly we must spend many an hour tapping the keyboard with our little claws, endeavouring to produce a grammatically correct response. Some try harder than others.
All the best,
Dandelion

Torty powers of prediction

Dear Baxter,
I've heard that torts can sense when rain is coming and stuff like that so was wondering if you could maybe have a go at sensing the lottery numbers for this Wednesday for me.
Regards,
Alan :O)
PS, I will pop a tub of Nutrobal in the post if the jackpot comes up

Baxter says:
DEER ALAN HAI nootroball is that wot makes me BIG AN STRONG okay the numbers wil bee
ZEERO, TWELFTYONE, SIXTEE, TOO FAT LAYDIS EYTEE EYT, ZED, MAYNUS FOR, TOO AN A HARF.
GUD LUK ALAN AH HOPE YOO WIN
lov the baxman xxx

Dandelion says:
Hi Alan,
My prediction is; 2, 10, 26, 27, 34, 37
I hope you win, I am drooling at the thought of that lovely white powder.
Good luck,
Dandelion